Re:member

I think I created one of the most unfocused blogs out there!  This started as a running blog to get myself back into running a few years ago (hence the name Re:Run) but it's evolved into more of a "whatever is on my mind" blog.  I guess it doesn't really matter, it's good to just put something positive into the universe.

Here is my positive universe spreading word for today - remember.  Last Thursday my family buried a grandfather, father, husband, and brother.  My grandpa would have been 80 years old yesterday - he died 10 days short, but lived 80 years long.  It is good to cry over someone you love because it's part of the grieving process of missing someone that has been a positive influence over your life and the loss is great.  It's also part of remembering the happy moments that you shared with that person.  Those memories often bring tearful smiles.  Some of the best memories I have of my grandpa were playing euchre with him at holidays and going whitewater rafting up in northern Wisconsin when he bought too many shots for his daughters and granddaughters!  I'm so glad that this past year I was able to spend some time with him on a family cruise in the Caribbean and celebrate his 60th wedding anniversary just a month ago.

Looking at the life that my grandpa had makes me remember what life is all about and what makes a person "happy."  He cherished his family first and foremost, and his friendships with others, and it was obvious by the number of people who attended his services.  I have great family and friends, but I feel like I could do better by spending more time with my family and friends.  I think having lived alone for so long that it's easy to just get comfortable with that as your life.  I go through times when I feel lonely but I rarely reach out to those family and friends because I don't want to burden them or don't think they would really care, but I need to start reaching out more.  It's hard going through life alone, and no one should have to.  I think living in a city makes it harder because family isn't always right there.  I used to want to live somewhere warmer, but the older I get, the more I realize that it's not about the weather, etc.  It's about being near your loved ones and spending time with them.  The further away I live the more I miss the holidays and fun times with family, and having them be nearby when you need them and when they need you.  Also, it makes me happier. 

I recently read a book called "The Happiness Project" in which the author made a list of things she was going to do to make her happier, from doing small things every day, to bigger things to focus on every month.  I know that I need to engage more with others as I have a tendency to be an introvert.  Seems weird since I am very social and seem extroverted when I get together with others!  I am socially extroverted when I put myself out there, but I tend to not go and do things with others as much as I should because I kind of like being alone sometimes and not always being around people.  But, I know that it would definitely help my happiness to get out there more, so one of the things on my list for August is to join a social group such as a running group or a flag football team again this fall, to get active with others!  Who knows, this might be a way to meet guys to date too, since online dating has not been very good to me ;)  And I'll get exercise and meet people at the same time.  So I'm going to add to my blog topics (why not add another topic!) my happiness project list as well.  For August, my happiness goals are to:

1) Daily - spend 10 minutes meditating in the morning to get my mind ready for the day and give gratitude for something in my life.  
2) Weekly - Participate in at least 1 social event that does not involve going out to bars drinking.  So go for a run with a group or play volleyball, take an art class, cooking class, etc.
3) Month of August - The month is half over, but my goal for the rest of the month is to start training for a half marathon that is 6 weeks away and not care about speed or making myself get back to a certain shape, but to just enjoy the time running and learn to remember why I started running years ago and why it was always a great way to clear my mind. 

Life, like running, is a big question mark.  It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong?' (modified from a quote by Peter Maher, Olympian)

To running & living your life strong,

jai